Category Archives: All Life Matters

Stand Up and Fight or Sit Down and Shut The Hell Up

Most of us have been conditioned for servility and docility and made to feel inadequate, inferior and different. The spirits of our ancestors have suffered a virtual castration to the point where they had developed a coping mechanism for the oppressive and wicked traits and behavior of the white man which has been passed down through generations. It has had an indelible impact on the psyche of the majority our people..

Why is it that we are the people who must always adjust our behavior and project cautiousness in order to make the so-called white folks feel comfortable around us?

Why is it we that must continue to speak to our young black men about being careful how they interact, respond or react to law enforcement so as not to spook them into shooting them down in cold blood like some predatorial beast?

What kind of BS is that, when we have to always capitulate and be apologetic because of the paranoid and bigoted mentality of so-called white people? Have we become that afraid to stand up and speak up and demand that the adjustment needs to be made on the other side? If the shoe fits, well!!!

Continue reading Stand Up and Fight or Sit Down and Shut The Hell Up

Struggle or Mission

I sat down recently after my last post and thought to myself. Man, why are we as African/Black American folk always referring to our situation as a struggle? I mean if most of life is connected to perception and we label our endeavor for equality as a struggle or some plight, haven’t we set ourselves up to fail? Does this not create a negative feedback loop that will set in motion the wheels of discontent when ever and where ever we are confronted with adversity? Does it not set the tone for us? I believe that it does……

What if folks were to approach this as a mission to be achieved with a different set of lenses would we not shift the toggle switch of perception in our brains towards a fighting mod? Is it possible that there would be a greater motivation to get it done no matter what….We know how much a simple word can dramatically impact a person’s psyche and make the difference between positive and negative (to do or not to do)…So, doesn’t the word struggle suggests a continuous fight with something that is becoming strenuous and burdensome?

We often talk about how the struggle continues and it is never-ending. I believe this in and of itself weighs a person down tremendously and gives one cause to become not interested in the task that lies ahead. Whereas the word mission or goal creates a desire to achieve and complete the task at hand. It denotes a more worthy cause for fight..

I know some may say that it is simple semantics and just a play on words, but isn’t everything we listen to and read just a play on words? It’s just the manner or context in which it is presented and understood that elicits a desired response..A mission appears to add the connotation of something admirable while struggle applies to an effort to hard and arduous and leads to a great exertion of energy. I guess it all depends on ones perception, struggle or mission and how they approach it…. Just some food for thought..

To say that something is a struggle allows us to approach it with a great deal of reluctance and effort? Procrastination..

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To say something is my mission or goal attaches a greater sense of urgency to it.. Motivation for success..

Either way it sets the tone of mentality and applies to almost anything we attempt to do in life…

A Struggle or  Mission

Written by; Alton T. DeVeaux Jr. (Africafifth)

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Duped

I find myself often times immersed in moments of introspective contemplation.. Where would I be in this life had it not been for the pioneers who from different walks of life (ethnic groups) helped to blaze the trail for freedom with much pain and immense sacrifice. So much has been given with so little recognition, appreciation or reciprocity for their efforts and accomplishments.

Humanity has benefited and made progress but still we are snared by a tsunami of greed, hypocrisy and a universally rigged system which binds us mentally, economically, socially and educationally. We are unable to realize how we have been manipulated into hating and fighting each other when our primary focus should be directed at those who created the color line and racism to begin with.

You see, white America doesn’t speak about nor teach her history of white slavery in colonial America prior to the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. The only slavery that we are familiar with are the African slaves. We haven’t been educated about the Irish slaves who were displaced from their lands, murdered by the British and sent to the sugar cane fields or other plantations throughout the West Indies. They speak not of the British underclass of men, women, children, vagrants, prostitutes, convicts who over populated their country and gallows.. Poverty, hunger, discontent, disease, unemployment, prostitution, murder, corruption and all manner of despicable and illicit behavior was rampant throughout their country. These unfortunate souls became too much of a burden for the English crown and therefore, became a prime target of exploitation by the elite and merchants.

Continue reading Duped

In The Mist of Rejection and Turmoil

The pain of rejection is often times unbearable as is the emotional turmoil that accompanies it. We become enveloped and overwhelmed. Clouded thoughts and consumed in a melancholy spirit. Consequentially the rejection gives us cause to search for a passageway to  escapism. We look inward and question ourselves, ( why am I not accepted or what is wrong with me)? We begin to internalize it all thus creating a degree of self-doubt and emotional baggage…..Pathway to self-destruction!!!

Eyes seek solace of heart and recognition of self in the eyes of another which eludes them. Compassion and empathy ? No, they dare not to waste them when they are in desperate need of such themselves. Oh, but yeh walks the way of the fooled among their deceptors…The harshness of rejection leaves one to ponder deeply in search of identity and relevance. A shattered spirit, a questionable existence paired with an abundance of doubt leads to an unstable mind. Have we become the trees rooted in the soil of confusion spread about in the mist of rejection and turmoil?

How do we define ourselves? How do we discover ourselves? How do we grow and flourish? How do we convert an otherwise meaningless existence into one of relevance? How do we make our presence on this earth matter? What we seek no man can bequeath us. Yet we measure our acceptance or rejection from one as the barometer of our very well being…Nonsense!!!

We have been short-changed and we have been sold short by others and ourselves. We have always been labeled as the underclass and appear to have accepted this as the standard-bearer. The higher levels of expectations seem to have either eluded us or have become too much of a challenge, so we are inclined to settle for less. Again I say, Nonsense!!!!

We can not forego the process of rejection and turmoil for they are unavoidable variables that accompany us through life. They inextricably co-exist but we need not become entangled in their snare. Society has rejected us and has for the most part written us off. Have we also done the same? Have we become much too complacent and distracted by the images of false deities? I have one question for you.

How is one group of people able to completely dominate another?

Simple folks, (Mind Control). Through the process of rejection, distraction, turmoil and it’s components. Ignorance by lack of education and knowledge. Reject your skin color, your features, your behavior, your aspirations and your dreams, reject your entire existence to the point of irrelevance until you have begun to reject yourself and others who look like you. You begin to either retaliate by adopting a full non compliance attitude of rejecting their authority and everything they represent or you begin to emulate them while they in turn rip off everything that is representative of you. Our music, our dance, our swag, our vernacular, our hand shakes and our fist bumps, our greetings, our gestures, our skin color and just about our entire vibe..Everything that they so call despise and that which comes from us they have adopted as theirs and we are too distracted and busy warring with each other to notice..

So, in the mist (not midst)of rejection and turmoil we have become lost and unable to see our way clear…We need not allow ourselves to be validated or defined by some individual or group who we just may be better than. But how is one to know when that which we seek has yet to reveal itself to us? Could it be that we are looking in all the wrong places?

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Muhammad Ali once said that most people are looking for a miracle or for some great thing to change their lives. He also said that the gifts are within us. That is where our greatness is and that is where our miracle lies. How could a young African boy during a time of grave peril for Africans in America have the conviction and unshakable courage to stand up to a force most would surrender to? Could it be that it was because he knew who he was and he was also well aware of the greatness that was within him and that no man on earth was going to define him.? He was ostracized and loath by many for standing up for what he believed in and he sacrificed greatly. But he never once silenced his voice nor allowed his spirit and will to be broken. He epitomizes the greatness of self-love, the greatness of self-respect, the greatness of self-awareness and the greatness of self-determination. Ali absorbed all the rejection and he blossomed into greatness..

Ali quote: If you can see it, if you can believe it then you can achieve it…

We were all created by greatness so why not emulate that which has created us?  

Don’t live out your life being a what if…..

Enlightenment is indeed a destructive process. It is a tearing away of all belief and all fiction. It is a breaking down of all preformed ideas, concepts and paradigms, a breaking away of everything you believed to be real or to be true. It is a bringing to light, the stark reality of the world in which we live. It is seeing things as they truly are and not being afraid to call it for what it is. It is stripping your world and mind bare of everything you thought you were, everything you thought you knew and it is in realizing what you are, and what you have, and what you are really and truly doing with your tiny breath of time here in this reality… what everyone is doing… Max Igan

 Written by; Alton T. DeVeaux Jr. (Africafifth)

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Be The Change That You Seek

I have often spoken of change in my posts because I believe it is an integral process that leads to growth of oneself both inward and outward. Often times in life we  find ourselves confronted with circumstances of adversity. We tend to lack the fundamental tools that are needed to cope with these moments and we are reluctant to challenge ourselves to press on and press through. We throw up our hands to surrender rather than to conquer which is why we always find ourselves at the same place no matter how much we may lament for change.

For one to be the change that one seeks is a daunting undertaking. There are so many dynamics that come into play which make for a very complex and challenging transition. Change is not a process  that occurs just from the mere wanting of it. We have to understand that there are many unforseen complications and variables that arise out of attempting to change..

So, with that said one must ask oneself how badly does one need that change to take place. Just like anything in life that is worth having, it comes at a price.  Which brings me to my next question; How much is the change worth to you and how much are you willing to pay, ie;( sacrifice)? You see, most of us have no conception of how demanding change can be and  are ill prepared to meet those demands. But if one can tolerate the adversity and meet the challenge head on, one will benefit immensely from the process as well as the results…..

I’m going to share with you a bit about myself and what I had experienced some 40 plus years ago.  Lost and confused I went into a very dark and lonely place where I dwelled for quite a few years not knowing where I was going in life, I did however have one thing that I would cling to and that was a strong desire to live my life differently. I realize and understand that we all have different experiences in life and disappointments, I get it. But the one constant here is that dismal is dismal and if that is hovering over us, we most definitely  want it to change..

I had spent the majority of my teenage years and early 20’s as a somewhat defiant and non conforming individual. I rejected all manner of authority and basically felt like an outcast which eventually led me  down the wrong path and to reform school. Which by the way  is where I had asked my probation officer to send me. I was being abused by my dad, pushed around and poked fun at constantly by others so I figured that this would definitely get me away from it all and garner me some street cred. Well it did do that and a lot more. I was eleven years old at the time and fed up with this world and all that was in it. So without going into a lot of details, needless to say this was the one mistake in judgement that was the genus for what would follow. By deciding to go this route I had set in motion an unguided and reckless force and embarked on a journey of self-inflicted pain and self-destruction.

I would, like most rebellious kids at that time  venture into a world of sex, booze, marijuana, pills and eventually heroin which became the most debilitating and destructive force in my life. I had become snared by the powerful unrelenting grip of intravenous heroin use and I couldn’t see any clear way out.. Everyday that I lived, I lived for the warm feeling of this drug entering into my veins and taking me on a euphoric trip that would ease all of the pain that I felt in life. These moments only lasted for a short while and I would revisit the misery and pain of a drug addicted and disappointed life. I would struggle with my addiction on and off for years before and after military service and alienating myself from everyone .. I would attempt to project some semblance of a normal life but I struggled day in and day out with my addiction to the point where I was contemplating suicide. My life couldn’t get any lower and I couldn’t continue any farther like this!

Suddenly,  I was confronted with a very harsh reality. I could remain a slave to this powerful binding drug, commit suicide or I could free myself from this heroin addiction and live. I made a choice to live because I had lacked the courage or will to do the other.  I may have also thought that suicide was an easy way out which could also be viewed as cowardly. So I decided that I would go and apply for outpatient treatment but the powers that be decided that methadone would not be given to me. Reluctantly, I decided to enter into an in-house treatment program to begin my journey towards self discovery and a promise of a better life untainted by drug use.. It’s amazing how the initial action causes the unfolding of other actions and reactions.

I was not prepared for the amount of emotional and mental work required of me to make this transition. I ended up leaving a couple of times after making substantial progress only to relapsed and return to begin the process all over again. This type of behavior definitely sounded familiar. It was another pattern that I had developed somewhere along the way in my life. It may have been with my first decision to go away to reform school and not face the issues that I was confronted with in life. How does one know or develop the tools needed if there is no-one to teach or guide them? These are the essentials to life that I would come to be extremely familiar with through countless interactive group sessions and one on one therapy.  But first I needed to commit myself to the process which brings me to that moment in my life when my mother had come to visit me at the program. She had uttered something to me that would change my life from that moment on. Quite simply she said to me, Alton you want change but you only want it on the outside. In order for you to change you have to want it on the inside. BOOM! There it was as simple as one, two,three. Is that all there was to it? Just to want it on the inside? You mean to tell me that I have been fronting it all along, you know acting as though I wanted it but not really wanting it? Was I just kinda going through the motions?

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No, that wasn’t the case at all. I merely needed to go through what I went through in order for me to realize that real change has to take place within and until I was really sincere and ready for it, it would not happen. That is when the real work begins, because now I had to remain diligent and determined to make it no matter what. The demons never really go anywhere, they just wait in the shadows for you to slip up.I have had people tell me that I had squared up or that I would always be a junkie. Once a junkie, always a junkie. My own mother had even said to me once when I was clean and living a productive life that if someone had told her that I would turn out to be the person that I have become today, she would have told them that they were full of shit. Yeah folks, that is just how bad I was. Well, it has been well over 35 years and I have never stuck another needle of heroin in my veins.

Yes, so what am I saying? It’s plain and simple;  We have to decide whether or not we really want it in order to change and at the same time are we willing to separate ourselves from those forces that lead us to unproductive lives and influence our ability to make the transition. I made a choice early on that put me in a bad place with some people who engaged in some not so healthy activities and as a result set into motion life altering patterns. It is profoundly amazing that I am still on the planet and I believe that I have been given considerable favor by my creators. So check it out; if you are still on the planet and if you don’t like where you are today nor what you see in the mirror, then change it. Make that commitment to turn your life around and embrace the challenge. It will make you a much stronger person. Nothing ventured, nothing gained..  For every action there is a reaction. Good or Bad!

So once again I reiterate; Be the change that you seek.

Thank you Mom, Love you.

Written by; Alton T. DeVeaux Jr (Africafifth)

A BETTER YOU, A BETTER US, A BETTER WORLD

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Noose to Bullet

Early 1900’s  Anywhere in Anytown USA.

Where ya goi’n boy were the words that ricochet loudly off the ear drums  of a tired and worn down but proud young Black man on this hot, muggy and sweltering day in Anytown U.S.A.

Big Mo kept on walking because he just wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with some redneck cracker on a hot and muggy afternoon. He had just finished putting in another long hard days work in the plant and the only thing on his mind right now, was getting home to his wife and kids, taking a shower and sitting down to have a nice home cooked meal.  After which he would go out on the front porch, enjoy a nice cool drink, watch the kids play around for a while before calling it another day. But before he could even entertain any of that, he had to deal with this irritating and ignorant cracker…

Hey nigger, you hear me talk’in to ya? I said where ya goi’n?  Big Mo was taking long full long strides, trying to put some distance between the two of them as he wanted to reach the bus before the confrontation he knew was imminent caught up with him.  He could see the bus pulling up to the stop but he was just not close enough to get on it and avoid what was coming. Damn, he thought to himself, out of all the days to possibly be late getting home for dinner. Why this one? You see this day was also a special occasion for Big Mo and his wife. They were soon to be the proud owners of a new home and this would be their night to celebrate.. It didn’t matter that he still had to rely on public transportation to get around because ownership of a home is what he and his wife, Mattie had always dreamed of. It would give them a sense of security and it would be theirs..Not too many Black folks owned their homes then but they would be one of the few that did..Yes, this was indeed cause for celebration…First things first though…

Big Mo came to an abrupt stop, whirled his huge frame of a body around and glared with an incessant disdain and annoyance directly into the eyes of his insolent pursuer and said, what you want with me? I ain’t doing nothing but trying to get home to my wife and kids. Unfortunately Big Mo wouldn’t make it home this night. He had dared question a white man and did so in a manner that was considered challenging to the authority and superiority of this nobody cracker. A heated exchange between the two would ensue and it would draw the unwanted attention of other white folks. Soon afterwards a mob of curious and angry white men would gather around and the instigator would accuse Big Mo of being an uppity nigger who needed to be taught a lesson. They would collapse around Big MO, beat him down and take him out to the woods to string him up. He wouldn’t be celebrating with his wife tonight, he wouldn’t be sitting down to enjoy his dinner with his family, he wouldn’t be sitting out on the porch sipping a cool drink while his children played and he and his family would never know the experience of owning their own home.

He would never live to breathe another day in Anytown USA. All because of the ignorance and racist vile that has permeated the air throughout American  society and has profusely stained its soil with the innocent blood of ( far too many to count ) black men, women and children in this country. This is a short story that is all to reminiscent of what it is like to be Black and living in a white dominated society in Anywhere, Anytime USA. This has an oh so familiar ring to it does it not? The scenario has been played out time and time again in this so-called white dominated world of ours one way or another.
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Let’s fast forward 100 years  plus and we are still experiencing the same racist vitriol.  The perpetrators today are in the uniforms of Law enforcement. Whether it is walking, driving, jogging, shopping or playing in a department store or a park with a play gun, having  dark skin is an open invitation for harassment and possible death. Just the mere suspicion of guilt by law enforcement or any white citizen today, ( just as it was back then )  appears to be cause enough to justify murder….It appears that we have gone from the noose to the bullet and we can’t seem to shake it….We pray for the families of those innocent Black lives who have left this planet so abruptly at the hands of racism and by those who have an indifference to life. We must feel a compelling duty to eradicate our society of this insensitivity to human life on both sides of the paradigm or we are doomed….

We are all Big Mo’s, Mattie’s, their family and some of us may never make it back home. This my people is the harsh reality of the world we live in today. It is much to often the unavoidable and undeniable brevity of life for Black folk here in America..We Must Change The Narrative…

 All prayers to the most high for strength and courage as we embark on a new meaningful course for the Black Diaspora..

Written by; Al Deveaux Jr. Africafifth

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