Lost Minds and Silent Voices

Have you ever stopped to just take a moment and ask yourself, what exactly is the reason for my presence here on this earth? Who am I, why was I even born and where in the heck am I going? Maybe you have and were fortunate enough to have the proper guidance, discipline and nurturing that was needed to insure your transition into life would not be a difficult one. Maybe you are one of those who have never had these thoughts and were always confident of yourself and where you wanted to go in life. You indeed are the exception. However, there are those of us who aren’t as fortunate to have guidance or certainty of who they are, where they fit in or what it is that they are supposed to do. They are the lost minds and the silent voices.

Man I can remember those periods of bewilderment and being dumbfounded as though they were yesterday. The memories are so vivid in my mind and most times I find myself reflecting on my journey in life which has traversed many different landscapes and experiences. For me this had been a very familiar place where I would reside for a significant period of time.
You see, my life was void of any direction and I never quite understood exactly what the requirements as well as what the demands of life were… More often than not I would find myself consumed in fantasy or just trying to figure out whom I was and what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I found myself searching for my identity through television or by observing those around me to see just where I fit in. I wasn’t a popular kid and most times I would experience a great deal of rejection from my peers and other folk. My parents were good providers but were truly lacking in instructive guidance. That in itself is another topic for another time. So I found myself somewhat alienated and constantly asking myself questions that I had no answers to.
Life itself does not provide us with a manual of descriptive guidelines for navigation and even if it did a lot of us would have been very reluctant to follow it. I believe that most of us who lack any real sense of direction are prone to cast caution to the wind and venture off on our own because we feel as though no one knows what is in our best interest except us. Most times the reckless manner in which we behave and the choices we make carry considerable non-welcomed ramifications for our actions.

The questions are very relevant to ask especially if your life has been one which has experienced countless periods of hurt, disappointment, rejection, betrayal, injustice, and inequality. How does one begin to deal with such adversity and turmoil and who lends an ear to the voices of despair and hopelessness? Without someone trustworthy to offer guidance we are most likely to slip through the cracks, never to be noticed or relevant. Unfortunately this is the scenario that is seen throughout most of urban America. There is a large segment of us who gaze around and see nothing but poverty and are overwhelmed by the challenges we are confronted with on a daily basis. The environment in which we reside has very little to offer in terms of encouragement for a better life and just about everything around us screams out road block and no way out. Then we ask ourselves, man why did I have to come into this world and why did I have to be born into this. Yeah, I know, we play the cards that we have been dealt but this is something that has to be taught or in my case, learned through experience. Besides most kids have no clue whatsoever what that aphorism (adage) means.

For the most part there are so many of us that are at a tremendous disadvantage who come from single parent and dysfunctional homes with siblings who aren’t faring too much better. The family is either poor or financially strapped and void of anything that is nurturing and cultivating. We receive very little in the way of positive instruction because of the mere fact that most of us today have parents who’ve never had this instilled in them or who are to young themselves to have experienced life.. Based on that fact alone, how could they possibly offer guidance and positive direction/influence to the children?
The theme gets replayed over and over again and no one seems to recognize its repetitiveness. There are a staggering number of us who have felt either not loved, not wanted by our parents or anyone else and this just compounds those feelings of disconnect and alienation. The situation usually translates into feelings and thoughts of no-one cares about me so why should I care anything about my life. This by the way is the prelude to making choices that are extremely detrimental to us and sometimes to innocent people around us.
No one seems to take notice of the staggering number of youths that have absolutely no sense of direction, personal insight or personal development and growth. They have become orphans of the streets, members of gangs, swallowed up in drug addiction or a life of criminal activity that either results in homelessness, incarceration or death. They are the ones who have been abandoned and left to fend for themselves just like those before them. The emotions that are stirring inside beg for release, reconciliation, and understanding but our voices remain silent. We feel the absence of ear and concern so we act out these feelings of abandonment and neglect by other methods because we are yearning for attention and help. Life has taught us to remain silent, to acquiesce, and to capitulate. No-one really cares.
Not exactly true but it’s a legitimate feeling and also an excuse for unacceptable behavior.

The art of teaching and instruction has fallen by the wayside and appears to have been trampled into oblivion. The pride and self dignity that was once embraced and championed among our people has given way to a shameless and disconnected population of folks who cry victimization and self-pity. We have become so misguided and consumed with self promotion of image and indulgence that we have lost sight of who we really are and what our real purpose in life is. What was once the catalyst of the family, a community and its success has become noticeably absent and for some inexplicable reason we are lacking real sense of urgency to turn it around.

If you are cialis viagra australia suffering from any severe penile diseases then those diseases will never-ever come back to you. It is because generic cialis http://amerikabulteni.com/2013/08/04/video-siz-orda-degilken-ormanda-neler-oluyor-bir-yalniz-agacin-siradisi-oykusu/ cGMP enzyme present in the blood does not reach to the penis. What the tablets offers an ED affected person is given doses of hormone through applications, canada pharmacy tadalafil injections or medications. These other tactics are buy viagra without rx click here to find out more inclusive of- meditation, stretching, breathing exercises, warm up, rest and drinking a plenty of water. We are not exposed to the multitude of possibilities in life because from day one we have been conditioned to believe that certain achievements or realities are beyond the realm of possibility for us. We are taught not to waste our time with silly notions regarding aspirations of success because they are not attainable and the educational process does not work. We have been served a constant and steady diet of you can’t make it to the point where we have come to eat, sleep, and breathe this poisonous rhetoric. The constant consumption of negativity only helps to perpetuate the non truth. I mean if a person is taking garbage in it is only natural that garbage will come out.

I can relate to this because I have lived it. I remember countless times that I was told that I would never amount to anything. Once a junkie, always a junkie. People have no conception whatsoever how the hurtful and offensive remarks they make impact people. I was almost at the point where I felt as though there was no way out for me and I was destined to be a hopeless case. Just another brother who slipped through the cracks and most people would have expected that and would have never missed my presence. It has been said over and over again that God helps those who help themselves. I believe this to be true but how do we get people to realize they need help and secondly, how do we get them to accept that help. Here in lies the greatest of all challenges.

Unfortunately more often than not we can’t do anything about their situations. They are the ones that need to acknowledge how dire their situation really is and that it requires attention or they are doomed for a life of disappointment and failure. So I’m guessing that we need to reach these folks before they ever transition to that stage in life. I believe wholeheartedly that I was not an exception but that I made the exception. I was able to discover with the help of others my identity and what I wanted to do. The exception was reaching out for help, letting my voice be heard and being willing to accept assistance with turning my life around. We desperately need to get people to want to discover themselves and all of that which is good and great inside of them.
To each one, teach one. The process has to start somewhere otherwise we will be sure to keep repeating this over and over again and as we do there will be more and more lost minds and silent voices.

Set the standard and become the positive example that will empower those around us and just maybe we can begin to turn this around…..
Be a voice, be a champion, and help to salvage a mind and a life….
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Written by: Alton T. DeVeaux Jr.

Are You A Black Man

The above title is a question that was directed towards me one day so I decided to share its premise with you.

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So I’m on one of the social networks one day engaged in a conversation with another brother who felt very strongly that Black folks should get reparations. Initially the topic of conversation was in reference to the 507 Billion Dollars that Black folks pump into the economy annually but somehow got steered towards reparations. This is a topic that has been debated for some time and was also presented before congress in 1989.
 

 

This particular brothers reasoning for wanting reparations was for the simple fact that he felt  that Black folks of today should receive compensation for the years of free labor America had siphoned off the backs of slaves to build this country.  Now don’t get me wrong. I feel America owes an insurmountable debt to our people for the atrocities our ancestors have experience from the oppressive and murderous hands of white slave owners too. However, I definitely do not understand how putting large sums of cash in the hands of people is going to rectify the issue. The amount he thought would be appropriate was about one million dollars to be distributed to Black families. Somehow this would give us Black folks a share in the wealth and I guess sort of balance things out. So I asked him if he was advocating that every Black person or household be given the sum of one million dollars to level the playing field so to speak. Personally, I felt that it would be useless for the simple fact that the money would be squandered and would go right back into the hands of the ones who provided it. His response was as follows ( I have never, nor the majority had a million. It’s a chance and a mercy. We deserve it and would at a minimum accept that as repentance for the harm caused by slavery in the hope that we could move on with some sense of normalcy ). He further went on to say that ( I am saying that this could be a viable option to finding a solution that could stop the wholesale murder of our people. If you choose to view it as a share of the wealth I can accept that. I believe that it is a small portion of what is due ).

I was amazed and just a little perplexed at this brothers reasoning. I mean he couldn’t really be serious, or could he?
I responded to the brother as follows (With all due respect brother, that is ridiculous. The money will do absolutely nothing. It will never be enough !!)  Evidently I must have really pissed the brother off because he started to become real indignant and began to call into question my Blackness. Man, I gotta say that it’s just like some qwerty board revolutionary to become insulting and disrespectful when you don’t agree with their position.

What in the world are the majority of Black folks going to do with one million dollars besides, piss it away. Most don’t have the slightest clue as to how to manage the little that they do have and besides once uncle Sam takes his share you’ll have a lot less than that. They know absolutely nothing about investments or cash management. Hell, most can’t even manage their lives. Now I don’t say this to be insulting, I’m just speaking the truth. If any person lacks the ability to manage their household, they most definitely aren’t ready for prime time..

I was asked, are you a Black man and what suggestions did I have. Well, I simply responded to the brother that I am the kind of Black man who is not begging the white man for some money. Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.. Oops, he didn’t take that response to well at all. The next thing I knew, the brother had blocked and un-followed me.  Now, these are the type of brothers who are continuously claiming that we need to come together and stop fighting with one another but are quick to drop an insult on you when you disagree with them. The type of brothers that are always saying how down they are for the cause but are the first ones to haul ass and leaving you hanging. You know the type I’m referring to. Black when it’s right and out of sight when it’s time to fight.. You can spot them anywhere, because they’re always talking about how the white man is holding them down. The white man has his foot on their throat and they can’t breathe. So forth and so on…

Well damn brother, you need to get a little bit of a fight in you and tell him to raise the heck up and if he doesn’t, remove that foot and get him up off of you. But no, that’s a little bit to difficult for you because it requires some heart and hard work. It  is much easier for you to just complain about it rather than do something about it. But you are all ready to pump your chest out to lead the charge and be the cheer leader for reparations as long as no one challenges you. Apparently when you are challenged to a mature, intelligent and constructive conversation you tend to get unnerved and take your pom poms and go home. Now, with all that said I still will not question his Blackness but I will call into question his heart as well as his agenda.

With all due respect, ( can I say that after such a brutal but truthful lashing) oh well, this Black man will not require your services at all because I am not that kind of Black man.  You see, I am the kind of Black man who has come from the inner city roach and mice infested projects, dropped out of high school and has experienced the perilous journey of life through drug addiction, self-doubt and much self-inflicted pain. The Black man who decided to choose life over death one night while contemplating suicide. The Black man who sought help from others because  I wanted so desperately to turn a life spiraling out of control around. The kind of Black man who rose up,  fell and then rose again. You see, I know what it is like to do without and having to stretch that coin in order to make ends meet. I am extremely familiar with sacrifice and having to work with a steadfast determination to be successful. Yes, I am the kind of Black man who has payed his dues, who has made mistakes in his life but holds no one else accountable for them but myself. I am the kind of Black man who today has his own company which was built from the ground up. Yes and didn’t beg the white man for a damn thing.  Yes I am the kind of Black man who is self-educated and a proud father and husband who has unparalleled love and devotion. The road has not been an easy one but it has been a road nevertheless that was manageable and success realized through prayer, determination, dedication, discipline and diligence. I committed myself to the process and continued to press on and press through.

I am the kind of Black man whose African lineage can be traced back five generations to the proud Akan people of Ghana and the Temne people of Sierra Leone. Yes, I am a direct descendant of Africans who were sold into Slavery in the 1800’s who endured a life of painful subjugation and upon gaining their freedom went on to build meaningful and successful lives. I can say with enormous admiration and humility that I am the kind of Black man whose ancestors were a proud African people who endured a hardship that I would never know during a period of extreme racial divide and violence  but were able to construct a  respectable legacy from hard work, education and devotion to family in the process.

Part of this legacy can be found in the book “African-Americans of Lower Richland County”.   So as a 5th generation African-American and a direct descendant of Slaves who rose up and triumphed over the most extreme adversarial period, I am the kind of Black man who has risen up and was also triumphant over adversity as well, but my hardships will never parallel theirs.

In closing I want to emphasize how we should refrain from criticism of one another and attempt to be more understanding and respectful. We need to practice the reservation of judgement especially when we are not in the least familiar with the other person or their life. We can of course express our sentiments about the comments made but should definitely refrain from personal attacks.  Some of you who read this may or may not agree which is understandable, but at least you have some food for thought… Peace and Blessings

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Written by: Al DeVeaux Jr.